Resources for “Pastoral Care as Healing Presence”
In the October 12 issue of Alban Weekly (“Pastoral Care as Healing Presence“), Bruce and Katherine Epperly reflect on the “practice of the presence of God” and ways this practice fosters the spiritual stature that enables creative responses to pastoral care crises.
The Epperlys note that spiritual stature “involves the dynamic interplay of radical acceptance and healing intentionality.” Radical acceptance requires the capacity to accept and embrace the realities of our own and others’ lives as completely as possible, while healing intentionality requires the capacity to regard our presence in each pastoral encounter “as a crucible for creative and healing transformation.” And spiritual stature grows as pastoral care givers learn to trust God’s healing presence and acknowledge their own needs for interdependent relationships.
They conclude that paradoxically, “When we face our own vulnerability and fear embraced by God’s faithful companionship and the gifts of faithful friends and communities, we discover strength in our weakness and grace in our vulnerability.”
What resources nurture the kind of spiritual stature that supports faithful pastoral caregiving? In addition to the resources listed at the end of the article, you might consider resources annotated in the “Pastoral Care” and “Spiritual Direction” sections of the Congregational Resource Guide (CRG).
You might also consider the “Clergy Self-Care” booklet recently published by the CRG, as well as resources from Graham Standish’s “Becoming a Holy and Healing Church.” Those interested in probing more fully into the theological perspectives touched upon in this article might consider Edwin Friedman’s “Family Process and Process Theology.”
What are your thoughts or stories regarding spiritual stature, pastoral care giving, and practicing the presence of God? And what resources do you suggest?
Thank you for this article. I especially appreciated the concrete examples of the two pastors who recognized that they needed help to cope with particular issues and sought that help. So many pastors feel ashamed and do not seek the help they so desperately need, and articles like this that mention seeking out a counselor and/or spiritual director as a smart and healthy choice will hopefully inspire more clergy to reach out and get help.
One resource I recommend is Henri Nouwen’s classic book The Wounded Healer. Another is Fred Lehr’s book Clergy Burnout: Recovering from the 70-hour Work Week and Other Self-Defeating Practices. There are many other good books on clergy self-care; see my website, http://www.betruetoyourself.com, for a longer list of books I recommend. The website also includes information about the monthly conference calls for clergy I host, so we can support and encourage each other and have a safe environment to share what is on our hearts and minds.
Several years ago members of the congregation began to complain that I was being abrupt or responding with anger when they didn’t fulfill a commitment. What concerned me was that when those complaints were fed back to me, I wasn’t even aware that was how I had responded.
I finally sought professional counseling and finally came to the realization that I had not dealt with the death of my mother. She lived away and I had spent 2 weeks at her bedside and when I returned Lent had begun and I just moved into work mode and like the second illustration in the article, never dealt with my own grief. Six months later it came out in anger that I wasn’t even aware of. The article is so right, we pastors need to be more aware of our own needs, spiritually. I now work with a Spiritual Director and it has helped immensely.
Thank you so much for your response, Alice, and especially for sharing with us the value of working with a spiritual director. Thanks to you also, Wendi, for your resource referrals. People interested in learning more about the book by Fred Lehr, which Wendi recommends, might want to check the CRG review. Here is the link:
http://www.congregationalresou.....038;TC=125
I think Kate and Bruce Epperly’s article and book is important reading for pastors, lay leadership and congregations. They are a valuable contribution to increasing the understanding and mutual support needed between all parts of the congregational family.